"Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold"

"Starlight" by Muse

Quite impressive, quite.

Kathleen Sebilius makes George Bush look like AIDS.

Tonight's first episode of Scrubs was nothing short of awesome. That's it. Goodnight everybody!

The sounds of serenity beckon upon the shores of eternal optimism. Lurking in the breeze is the basking of a glow of warmth that last forever. It's the sweetest of drug trips. The kind of trip we yearn for. It's the trip we covet with heart and soul. We live for the now, promised nothing, but vowing to share everything. There in that breeze can be the truth and a reality that could only be merely dreamed of or brought to life in our trip. There it lies. Your life and the dream that you live everyday within. It's brought to life in glimpses and you spend every waking second chasing it. It is eternal bliss and it's a reality that can one day be one with reality. In that trip, you're provided with a glimpse and it's your mission to bring forth its validity.

To understand fear, is to stare your own demise in the eyes and accept the reality of failure, not as an option, but as an inevitability. It's seeing the darkness and the infinity that it could encompass. The times are frightening and cold and harsh. To ride into this existence is to ponder whether any of it was ever worth it. It's sitting outside, as the rain drenching you with coating of despair. It appears a minor miracle can rescue this ill fated trip. It's a permanent mind trip to which there is no come down. funny, can one come down, when they are already buried amidst a graveyard of dreams? This is where we stand today. The end is approaching and there are no heroes in this tale. At this point, the mire is thick and convoluted. Choking on a dense fog of fear, disguised as infinite darkness, to which we may never escape.

I missed the opportunity
to get you babe to stay with me.
Never thought, I'd regret the excuses that I've made
like a song, it will fade

If there's music in the night,
And it's really, really right,
It's the only thing I need.
it intoxicates your mind
All your troubles left behind
So come on and take my lead.
it's not just me who feels it
music plays a mind trick
watch me forget about missing you

so i put my feelings out to dry
love, one day again,
i'll have to try.
falling out, making up
it seems such a silly game
why do i never gain?

If there's music in the night,
And it's really, really right,
"It's the only thing I need.
it intoxicates your mind
All your troubles left behind
So come on and take my lead.
it's not just me who feels it
music plays a mind trick
watch me forget about missing you

na na na's

If there's music in the night,
And it's really, really right,
It's the only thing I need.
it intoxicates your mind
All your troubles left behind
So come on and take my lead.
it's not just me who feels it
music plays a mind trick
watch me forget about missing you"

"Mind Trick" by Jamie Cullum
(great song)

We're in trouble.

Figures. All of it.

Looking back at the evolution of this blog, it has occurred to me that lately the ratio of posts with a connotation that is shrouded in melancholy vs those that are positive is five to one at best. At the start, they were back and forth and generally much happier. The truth about where things lie within the numbers. There in lies all your answers.

There are bad feelings in life and there is this. The beginning of the evening out has begun. I fear for how I will pay. At the same time, what is this? This feeling is one of no salvation. There is no right answer. There is no happy ending. I've always said I'm a realist, then why should any of this be any different? It wasn't before or again. In fact, everything has gone just the way I perceived it would all go. Then, why should I complain? All I did was speak righteous and justly and sadly I was right. Every time, I prayed I would be wrong. When did I ever think I would say that?

Now, I suffer everyday. If this is how it's to be, then I want out. I can't do this anymore. Put it this way, there are many thoughts swirling now, but I keep coming back to the one that stares me in the eyes like the dawn of my own demise. It's the thought that whatever I do is wrong. I can't win, no matter how much I scream inside. The truth is. I scream into an infinite darkness where no one can hear you.

This is reality, for better or for worse and it's mostly the latter, stuck on the verge of losing everything. I've already lost a lot. I can' do this. In so many ways, I did wrong and now, I reap what I've sewed. I give anything for rain now. Now and forever more, all I will have is the rain, darkness and eternal cold, pondering how all went so wrong and slipped into an infinity that beholds my end. For that I'm sorry. It was supposed to be better. We were suppose to shock them all. Forever as I close my eyes, I will be haunted by you on the swing amidst the lightning, a brief glimpse into what ultimately amounted to nothing but a mirage of momentary bliss. The time will be soon at hand to slip away and I'll fade from you and then you'll wake and it won't matter anymore. After all, it never did I never did. Blink. See? And now you're all better now.

Today, we simply write about the 2008 FedEx Orange Bowl Champion Kansas Jayhawks. Sounds beautiful doesn't it? Who would have ever thought? Certainly not that night on the field a Memorial Stadium the night before the season opener two years ago.

I never thought this whole year was possible. Call it a dream come true. Almost the greatest dream come true, amidst a time and place where no dreams ever come true. Even as one was dying horrifically, it didn't matter. It wasn't going to deter me or us and our destiny. We didn't write the script, we just lived it out.

Put simply, it was the perfect day. Ok, maybe a thing or two were far from perfect, but if you think that was going to ruin anything, you're wrong. Dead wrong. This story is about dreams and destiny and the wonderful people that were along for the ride. People you could trust. Hand in hand in war. We also paused to remember those who couldn't be there on that perfect night. Those who deserved and should have been there. No matter what, we started this journey together and it would have only been right to all take that last victory as one in victory.

Then, I remember a brother that is gone. You'll never be forgotten and you were there. Also, the Niners still suck! Hahahahaha. But, seriously, you'll always be missed and you're with me every day. You must be impressed about by how I know just how to sit and watch it all blow away?

It's was a quest that, yes could have been better, but that's not how life works. Instead, sit back take it all in and be grateful. B/c it'll never be the same ever again.

But, for one night, it was ours and no one can ever take it away. And I will always be so blessed to see it for fear of the day when I can't see anything anymore, especially you.

Time of your life kid...