I'm really scared in a different way now. I felt something today that I haven't in a long time or maybe ever. Is it possible, that this could be the beginning of the end? I don't know what to make of it and worst of all, nobody and I mean nobody can understand it at all. It's probably a good idea that I just keep all this stuff to myself. None of it makes sense and it's almost eery. I wish I had somebody that could get this. Where is this all going? I can start to see it and it scares me to death. That's a reality that I'm deathly afraid of.