I could just sit there and watch the leaves drift away. Sometimes, I just wanna lay down and forget everything. Sometimes, we should just stare into the mirror and search our hearts. Are we afraid of what we see, or what we refuse to see? Maybe I avoided looking because I was afarid to fall in. But, most likely it's nothing. After all, I've never been that lucky, right? Right.

We're back! But, I vow revenge. "Oh, what are you talking about?" I guess you wish you knew. Hahahaha. But, I digress. Anyhoo, today was the first day of a new beginning. That being said, my head is in the clouds, and I don't know if that's good or bad. What do you think? Let's just say I'm fighting it and I'm afraid I'm slowly losing.

This is an entry in a series of entries:

This is never how I thought my next entry would go, but then again I did knew, so much that I would tell myself so. So there as my dear friend always said.

1. I moved and it was painful, just not easy at all. I arrive bck home in Kansas with open arms and it was great. We're excited about possibilities, but we're guarded, considering the circumstaces.
2. The return to Lawrence was beautiful, we had a blast. It was so beautiful to see everyone again. This time, I felt like I left on my terms I miss everyone so much and will always remember the weekend as a bur. Thank you to the people that mean the world to me.
3. Home is home, always will be. My famlily is why I'm here today. I realize this everytime I'm away. They're the best.
4. It's time to begin the start over. We have to make it work, because I have nothing else. I'm scared, but excited. For now, we must close our eyes and except inevitability, because this is how e knew it would go. Hahaha. I guess. Get better kid, I really hope I see you soon!


Me:)

I'm scared. I'm tired of being scared. All I can do is daydream of a warm breeze and a soft face.

It all became so redundant to write in this thin. I was feeling defeated, but we persevered and just maybe, we're going to be rescued. To this place, I will say good riddance and will hope my lesson has been learned. This in no way, was the biggest mistake of my life. It was just the final lesson (hopefully) I needed to learn. Perhaps now, I can actually graduate into the rest of my life.